All rides are good rides, right?

You know the phrase in riding that “all rides – even the rough ones – are good rides when they are done”? Hard rides, difficult rides, I’ve used that phrase in the past. Then, there’s yesterday’s ride.

I am wondering about the “wisdom” of dragging myself out to the trails for a ride, yesterday, b/c the experience was so dreadful that the “voices in my head” have been screaming at me ever since. Oh sure, I was still really tired from Friday night’s storms [woke so much, it reminded of when my boys were newborns], and yes, I was surprisingly still a tad sore from Thurs evening’s weight training workout. Yep, I’m a bit out of shape (off season and all), too. Furthermore, my rear brake, now, is rubbing so much that it’s humming for most of the ride (basically whenever I’m not pedaling), and lastly, my rear tire was a little low on air. Yep, those are all great excuses. Still though,it sucked, and I sucked. It hurt, and I was @()#(!)(% slow and weak. I knew I was a little out of shape but have been working back toward where I was. That has meant plenty of weight training, some spinning and some mountain biking. I’ve put in more workouts in the past month than I have in past two months COMBINED. Yet…I did not expect – NOT AT ALL – to be weaker than I was a month ago. No.

So if you’ve ever read any of my stuff, you know that the “voices in my head” can really mess with me. They can be quite loud when the reigning thoughts are dark. (I rather prefer them when they say sunny things.)

I even went back and re-read one of my blog posts from last July, titled “Luck and Magic Potions” just to use my own thoughts and my own “voice” to straighten my brain back out. Alas, the struggle is harder than expected.

There’s a part of me that wants to get right back out for a ride, after some rest and proper adjustments to my bikes b/c both of my mountain bikes’ rear brakes are rubbing & humming. I want to see how much of a difference clearing the field of “excuses” will make, if any.

Aye, that’s the rub. What if there’s no change? What if I really DO stink that badly?

::headdesk::

Another part of me does not want to know, b/c if there is no improvement, it will make me feel as if all the hard work over the past month has been for naught, a complete waste of time.

Would I stop riding if I did stink that bad? Probably not. If nothing else, I HAVE to get “out of the house” and be outside. Exercise helps clear my head [heh well normally, it does]. Although, it would greatly reduce the field of folks with whom I’d ride, lest I felt as if I was holding them up. (That’s another misery, altogether.)

So…what to do.      ?

I guess, I’ll have to bite the bullet, get out for a ride and just see. Otherwise, I’m caught in a not-so-merry-go-round, which is a complete waste of time (and precious sleep). However, it won’t be tomorrow. I’ve got an appointment with a personal trainer for another kettlebell workout. So, it will be a few more days. ITMT, I’m digging around for the MUTE button.